Used Car Seats

I read a lot about car seats, car seat safety and extended rear facing. I came across this photo and knew I had to share it. I contacted the person who created the collage and the person who was in the accident; both gave permission for this to be shared.

This accident happened at night while turning onto a street. The vehicle was hit by an SUV that didn't have headlights on going 55mph.

The driver of the vehicle suffered injuries and is recovering. The child in the car seat was unharmed. The car seat still looks perfect. This shows that you can't trust used car seats. There's no way to know their history.

Word Cloud

For the last day of the WordCount 2013 Blogathon, we were asked to create a word cloud. I've never heard of these before, but they are pretty awesome.

I submited the blog webpage and the program created the following image.

Sleep Training

Yes, that's right I said it. Today I'm talking about sleep training. I read every parenting book I could get my hands on while I was pregnant with Emma. The thought of sleep training seemed ridiculous. I just decided to parent the way that felt right. The decisions we made fall in line with attachment parenting. As an AP parent, I shouldn't agree with or practice sleep training. I didn't give myself the AP title. Others call me this because of the choices we made.

At one time Emma was sleeping pretty well. She would sleep for 3 or 4 hours be awake for a few more and go back to sleep. This worked for us. This changed when she was labeled failure to thrive and we were told to start waking her to feed her every 2 hours. Now that she doesn't need to eat every 2 hours she still wakes every 1 1/2 to 3 hours. This is no longer working for me.

I'm exhausted. I'm miserable. I'm not a good mom and I'm not a good wife. We had to do something. We moved Emma out of her small bed in our room and into her crib in her room. We have a twin bed in her room also, so she isn't sleeping there alone, at least not yet. We put her to bed when she falls asleep, if she falls asleep, then when I'm ready to go to bed I go to sleep in our room and when she wakes middle of the night I go and finish my night in hers.

It still wasn't enough because she still wasn't going to sleep until midnight or 1 o'clock in the morning. So earlier this week we decided to try sleep training. It was the last resort. I was so tired all the time, I was on the verge of tears. Emma was my main concern. She was so exhausted at the end of her night when she finally would fall asleep, she'd thrash around. She couldn't be held; didn't want to be touched; and would cry uncontrollably.  She'd finally lay on the floor in the living room and move from side to side and thrash from one position to the next. I couldn't rock her. I couldn't hold her. The thrashing, the screaming and the crying had to stop. We used to cuddle in bed until she fell asleep, but now she tries to crawl off the bed, so cuddling on the floor is safer.

I reread the sleep training books and asked friends who had experience what they have done. Everyone had different answers. Everyone had different things that worked for them. Once again we decided to follow our guts and do what felt right for us.

Monday night we put Emma in her bed and I sat on the bed next to hers. We decided that we would let her cry no more than how she would in the car on trips when she was fighting sleep. That wasn't too much crying at least not my opinion. Monday night was awful. She stared at me with tears in her eyes crying and she went straight from a little fuss to a high pitch squeal. We realized this was not going to work. If she could see me, she would want me but as soon as I picked her up, she would push away. She was so tired Robert took her outside to look at flowers and he was able to put her to sleep.

Tuesday and Wednesday we did things a little differently. After her nighttime routine and her last bottle we rocked her until she was drowsy just like we had done on Monday, and we put her in her bed. As soon as she was in her bed she started to fuss. We gave her a kiss and walked out of the room. We stood in the doorway where she couldn't see us but we could see her and she sat and she fussed and whined for 3 minutes then we went in to rub her back and gave her a kiss. We spent a minute with her and went back to our spot. The next time we went in, we had waited 5 minutes, then 7, then 10. On Tuesday, after 35 minutes she was asleep. On Wednesday night it only took 25. At no point did she have tears streaming down her face or use a high pitch squeal. Instead it was the fuss we sometimes heard in the middle of the night when she was comforting herself back to sleep if she had woken up. To us, this is okay.

Someone asked me if we will continue with this and after the first night I would have said no. Now that it's worked, I think we will. All three of us are getting better sleep and longer sleep. Emma is sleeping for 10 to 12 hours.

Is sleep training for everyone? No. But nothing works for every parent; nothing works for every child. Every parent and every child have to find what works for them and then when things stop working, you have to find something that works.

Well I sleep train future children? That depends on the child.

Do I still consider myself an attachment parenting? I guess so. But again, I didn't give myself that label. I've never planned to parent by labels. I parent from my heart and make decision that work best for us at that time.

Wordless Wednesday

I saw this on Pinterest and thought it was perfect.

Our experience sleep training

Those of you who know me know that Emma's not the greatest sleeper. She sleeps a couple of hours at a time periodically throughout the day, if I'm lucky. Otherwise she doesn't sleep during the day and she falls asleep sometime between 11:30 and 1 o'clock in the morning. I feel like I've been sleep deprived since before she was born.

Last night I had had enough. Robert and I decided that we would try sleep training and cry it out. 5 minutes into it, I was in tears, Emma was in tears Robert was frustrated but we kept going. An hour into it, Emma's screaming; I'm in complete tears and Robert walks in. At first I was annoyed because there he is rescuing her again, but then I realized this wasn't going to work.

Robert picked her up, rocked her, took her outside so she could look at flowers, and she fell asleep. And she slept and she slept and she slept, until 130. She took a bottle and went back to sleep. She was up at 5 but she's went down at 8:30 so I'm okay with that . At 6 o'clock this morning we went for a walk. Now we are eating breakfast and enjoyng our morning and I'm hoping that she takes a morning nap.

Will we continue with cry it out and sleep training? I'm not really sure . What I am sure of is when you're at your wits end and you're exhausted, that's not the time to try something new, at least not for us.

Wordless Wednesday

"To be in your child's memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today." ~ Unknown

© Genevieve Jerome Photography

When I feel guilty about the choice we made to cut our household income in half so I could stay home with Emma, I remind myself that her childhood only lasts a few short years and the time we have together is priceless. Yes, at times I feel guilty because I can't help but think, "we could have so much more" or "I'd love a bigger car" then I remind myself we don't need more things, we need more time together. The guilt doesn't get any better when people in our lives make comments, but then those people don't get much of our time.

© Genevieve Jerome Photography

 

Breastfeeding Challenges

I'm hoping by sharing my challenges, successes, and failures with breastfeeding other moms will see they're not alone. I planned on exclusively breastfeeding for 6 months, introducing solids gradually, and weaning at one year. Those grand plans have flown out the window. Here’s the good, the bad, and the ugly of our breastfeeding journey, including our decision to supplement with formula.

Latch Issues
Emma is 7 months old and she nurses like a champ on the left side, but we've struggled from day 1 with the right side. We never got a good latch in the hospital, but thankfully have had great lactation consultants who helped get us on the right track. The football hold was a life saver until recently.  Now she's long, squirms all over the place and is super distracted. We are semi successful when we nurse lounging in bed. 

To Cover or Not to Cover
I never cover when I'm at home, but when I'm out and about I do. Emma's easily distracted and keeping her covered means she nurses faster and we can get our to-do list done. The dilemma of to cover or not to cover only comes into play when we are visiting family either at their house or if they are at our house. Emma didn't mind the cover until about 2 months ago. Now she's constantly tugging at him, tries to uncover and will flat out refuse to nurse with it.  Should I cover at home just because other people are uncomfortable? What about when we are visiting family, should I cover there? I flat out refuse to cover at home, if you don't like seeing her nurse then go in another room until we are done. I'm not leaving the room. When we are at Robert's parents' home, I usually just go into the spare bedroom, but sometimes she wants to nurse while we are watching a movie. I have learned to cover her but let her head peak through a little so she doesn't feel completely covered, but I'm not showing anything that makes anyone uncomfortable. Really the decision to cover or not to cover comes down to what makes nursing easier.

Supplementing
Emma wasn't growing as quickly as she should have. There was a 4 week period that she only gained 2 ounces. After trying more frequent nursing sessions, including throughout the night and making strict changes to my diet, we finally came to the conclusion that we needed to try supplementing with formula. It was a tough decision, but I'm glad I agreed to it. Emma is supposed to receive 2 ounces after each feeding, but she doesn't like taking formula from mommy, so she gets formula from daddy when he's home from work and before bed. She's been steadily gaining weight since we started this. Her specialist says that if she continues to gain weight, we will be able to back off on the amount of formula she receives and she can just get breast milk again. 

Pumping
I started pumping in October to build up a stash of milk for Emma to have when Robert and I got married. I pumped every morning when Robert left for work, once during the day and once or twice in the evening. It was so much work and totally inconvenient. I stuck with pumping after the wedding just not as often. I only pump once a day now because it's all I have time for. I really should pump a second time during the day when Robert is giving Emma a bottle, but I'm busy during that time. Sometimes I feel like if I pumped as frequently as I should to build a stash I would either have Emma attached to the boob or my pump attached to the boob. I really don't understand why some people say that pumping is easier for them, but just like all other parenting decisions, what works for one doesn't always work for others.

She Likes Formula Just Stop Breastfeeding
If someone says this or something like this to me again, I'm going to scream. Yes, Emma likes formula. She also likes food, but I'm not going to just give her food. Formula is a pain in the butt, in my opinion. It takes time to get the bottle ready when she's ready to eat, it takes less than 5 seconds to pull out the boob and let her have breast milk. Breastfeeding is only inconvenient to others because they want to feed her, but there are plenty of other things they can do to spend quality time with her.

Someone else's sadness made me appreciate my life even more.

I have been following The Progressive Parent blog for a while, or I should say, I had been following it. While on bed rest the last 10 weeks of my pregnancy, I think I read every parenting blog out there. I don't know why I stopped. Oh wait, yes I do. I used to describe it as "I'm stuck in bed with Emma day and night. She's permanently attached to the boob." The way I said it was awful. Yes, I was exhausted. I'm a stay at home mommy with a baby girl who isn't gaining weight as quickly as she should, who cries constantly, never wants to sleep and has horrible reflux. Over the past few months things have gotten better and I have found ways to carve little bits of time into my day for myself. I can read again. Maybe not a Nicholas Sparks book from cover to cover, but a few blog entries or a couple of magazine articles. I'm not trapped in bed all day nursing Emma. Maybe only half the day. We actually get out of the house now. A couple of weeks ago, my friend Tricia posted in our mommy group on facebook asking if anyone had been reading The Progressive Parent. It dawned on me I hadn't looked at that blog since before Halloween. What I read next instantly brought tears to my eyes. Julie (the progressive parent), had woken to find her son unresponsive. She was living my biggest fear. She had outlived her son, something no parent should ever face. When I was 5 my biggest fear was spiders. At 10, snakes. At 15, never getting my driver's license. At 17, being stuck in this town forever. At 20, never figuring out what to do with my life. At 25, failure. At 31, it's SIDS. I went to Julie's blog and starting reading, but I couldn't get through much of it at the time. I still haven't read all of it. What I have read has given me an even greater appreciation for my life. Yes, I'm still exhausted because Emma doesn't sleep well. Yes, there's times I glare at Robert as he's snoring away and I'm nursing Emma for the 5th time that night. But at the end of the day, I would rather be exhausted, nursing my child to sleep or rubbing her back to soothe her to sleep as I rocked her, than exhausted staring at her picture knowing that I will never feel her little fingers wrapped around mine again.